yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
