im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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