i would punch a child for taco bell
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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