I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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