So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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