You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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