Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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