My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
