I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
