Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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