did you get engaged???
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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