Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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