pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
