put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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