I have demons in me.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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