I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
A+ Viking dick
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
