I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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