nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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