Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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