On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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