i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
