There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
