you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
