hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Piatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
