can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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