we have officially lost it.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
