Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
