oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
