is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
