if you like me you must not know who I am
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
