So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
