i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
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you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
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When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
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