I got chris browned last night
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
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im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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