Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize