Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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