how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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