i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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