Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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