Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
