I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
