You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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