well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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