Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
