So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
