So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday