hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
they need to just BURY HIM!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar