I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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