How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo