in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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