Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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