Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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