Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
This toilet bowl is my home.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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