i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
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