She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
