i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
