i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i want to swaddle you in tequila
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize