It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize