Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
