I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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