it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
