I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
