I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm at about main and main street
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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